First Published in EQ Iris Dating Even if you didn't watch the Oscars (as I did not), Will Smith smacked Chris Rock and then swore at him at the top of his lungs. Millions of viewers watched live Rock's comment about Smith's wife's shaved head, intended as a joke. Speculation about his actions has been flying around the internet ever since. Speculations regarding Rocks' comment (and what constitutes "joking" and when "joking" is okay, whether he knew about Jada's condition

First published by EQ Iris Dating You're likely familiar with the line in the '90s show Friends where Rachel is furious with Ross for "cheating" on her, and he defends himself by trying to explain that they weren't together at the time of his alleged betrayal. How does it happen that one person can feel cheated on, and the person who was accused of being unfaithful didn't even think they were together at the time? Enter: the murky waters of a "break." People seem to want i

First published by EQ Iris Dating I'm not sure how common it is for others, but I've experienced receiving the "encouragement" your disability doesn't define you" more frequently than is appropriate in the dating world. I've had friends and others who care about me remind me of this as if it's a pep talk before I put myself out there, and honestly, it's getting grating. In part, bringing up disability consistently in this way sort of undermines the very message they seem to

First Published on HealthyRich A week before I turned 30, I went to a new counselor. I’d been to therapy before — when I was in high school and for a brief time after undergrad. I wasn’t sure I’d truly resolved what was holding me back from the life I’d wanted, but I’d at least been able to identify it. And knowledge is half the battle, right? The problem is that more knowledge does not equate to more than half the battle. And, if the battle here is for the life I am excite

First Published in EQ Iris Dating As a latecomer to dating, I wish someone had explicitly told me that people have different goals for their dating life. Of course, it's obvious to me now, but, like the kid who can't see the blackboard at school because she needs glasses but doesn't know that she can't see the blackboard at school (because she needs glasses), you don't know what you don't know! I entered the dating world assuming everyone had the same motives—to find a spou

First published by EQ Iris Dating If you've spent time in the dating world, you've likely heard the advice to "just be happy being single." (Most of the time, it comes from married people, am I right?) The people who offer it are often well-meaning; they see you're single, assume you must be unhappy, and want to help you. In other words, they want to keep you from feeling complicated feelings, which they may or may not have verified with you that you are currently experienc

First Published on EQ Iris Dating If you're disoriented just trying to navigate regular life, you're not alone. It's not just the level of change society has undergone the past two years or how fast that change has happened. It's the fact that pandemic policies differ wildly depending on where you are in the US — not just by state, but by county . Two counties that are a 30-minute drive apart can be miles apart ideologically; this makes it even harder to connect with people

First published on Mad in America . I used to think therapy could be beneficial if only you went through the trials of finding a good therapist—and by “good,” I mean one that is not only well-trained/well-educated, but one that is a “good fit” for you in particular. There are no easy ways to find such a “fit,” of course; it all has to be trial and error. Poking around on the Internet and making the most of the shockingly little third-party information that’s out there about t

Originally published on EQ Iris Dating You may feel behind. You may feel clueless. You may feel frantic. You may feel like no good people are left because "everyone" is celebrating ten-year anniversaries and welcoming their second or third children. You may feel your concerned family members breathing down your neck when they gently (or not so gently) "check-in" on your love life. You may feel like you have to update your singleness stat, but also hopeless about anything ch