First Published in EQ Iris Dating Even if you didn't watch the Oscars (as I did not), Will Smith smacked Chris Rock and then swore at him at the top of his lungs. Millions of viewers watched live Rock's comment about Smith's wife's shaved head, intended as a joke. Speculation about his actions has been flying around the internet ever since. Speculations regarding Rocks' comment (and what constitutes "joking" and when "joking" is okay, whether he knew about Jada's condition

First featured in the Gyroscope Review Love In The Injustice Age (published in the Fall Issue of Shantih Journal [Oct. 6, 2018]) is when you know someone so well you could be her scream. Tia and I, we have caught a glimpse of our extinction; we are hunting it down. We build peace with justice, Tia and I. She cracks jokes like belts and I dig like an insult and the scant trees seize in the wind. We make this ditch with pick axes and fear and sick hope and just us. We are

First published by EQ Iris Dating You're likely familiar with the line in the '90s show Friends where Rachel is furious with Ross for "cheating" on her, and he defends himself by trying to explain that they weren't together at the time of his alleged betrayal. How does it happen that one person can feel cheated on, and the person who was accused of being unfaithful didn't even think they were together at the time? Enter: the murky waters of a "break." People seem to want i

First Published in EQ Iris Dating As a latecomer to dating, I wish someone had explicitly told me that people have different goals for their dating life. Of course, it's obvious to me now, but, like the kid who can't see the blackboard at school because she needs glasses but doesn't know that she can't see the blackboard at school (because she needs glasses), you don't know what you don't know! I entered the dating world assuming everyone had the same motives—to find a spou

First published by EQ Iris Dating If you've spent time in the dating world, you've likely heard the advice to "just be happy being single." (Most of the time, it comes from married people, am I right?) The people who offer it are often well-meaning; they see you're single, assume you must be unhappy, and want to help you. In other words, they want to keep you from feeling complicated feelings, which they may or may not have verified with you that you are currently experienc